The Mom Formerly Known as Rebecca

I love being a mom.  That being said, I'm not quite sure what happened to Rebecca.  I'm pretty sure she got lost somewhere in the middle of changing diapers, potty training, doing piles of laundry, childproofing the outlets and cabinets, trying to teach my children their letters and numbers, singing silly songs, reading (and rereading 100x) children's books, watching PBS, wiping runny noses, cleaning rooms (only to need to re-clean them 5 minutes later), and creating meals that cater to the sophisticated palates of the 2 and under crowd.  I actually like to think that she is just standing on the sidelines, waiting and watching patiently for her turn for some attention and is perhaps more than a little amused by all that she is observing.  Of course, there is the occasional visit with Rebecca that comes in the form of reading a book or writing in my journal during nap time if there aren't bills to pay or toilets to unclog (thank you, Nicholas).  And sometimes, if Rebecca and I aren't too tired at the end of the day, we even get to play the Wii with our husband or try to catch up on some digital scrapbooking, watch a tv program of our choice, or even (gasp!) blog!  At times I even like to fantasize about what I'd do with an entire day to myself.  Then I get stressed out about taking an entire day off, so I knock it down to fantasizing about 4-5 hours to myself.  I think it might involve gardening/landscaping, reading books, shopping (not of the grocery kind), blogging, taking pictures, decorating, stamping, scrapbooking, baking something deliciously unhealthy, or even something really radical like being able to use the bathroom without a kid jiggling the doorknob and yelling for me the whole time.  I know, I know...it's a crazy fantasy.  Once a year I even get almost an entire day to myself while I go to a rubber stamp convention (it's much cooler than it sounds) with my grandma, mom, aunt, and sister-in-law, but even that feels just a little irresponsible, and I'm anxious to get back to Mommy-mode!  I know that their childhood won't last forever, so it's fortunate for me that Rebecca is pretty understanding about sharing me with my kids.  I just needed to write this tonight as a reminder to myself that hearing Miss Rosa talking on PBS while I'm cleaning, rescuing kids from tables, etc. does not count as having an adult conversation (not that I'm admitting that I ever talk back to her or anything...).  Or that re-cleaning the living room for the fifth time of the day does not qualify as a hobby.  Even though part of me will always be in Mommy-mode since I am a mom and will never stop caring for my children, I need to remember to take some time, however little, to spend with Rebecca.