The Longest (and Most Surprising) Two Months of My Life

From Monday, 25 April until Sunday, 19 June I was sans husband.  When Brandon and I met in 2006, he had just enlisted in the Ohio Air National Guard.  I knew, intellectually at least, that there would be times where he would be deployed, and I would have to fly solo on the home front.  Since we've been married, he was gone for basic training (6 1/2 weeks), tech school (total of 4 weeks where I wasn't with him), a deployment to Guam (2 1/2 weeks), and a deployment to Turkey (also 2 1/2 weeks).  This time around, though, he was deployed to Spain for 8 weeks!  I'm not sure I was emotionally ready for that!

One of the hardest things about him being gone was probably how little I was allowed to say about it.  I said a few things on Facebook, but even then I never gave many particulars.  I said nothing on this blog because Brandon wasn't even allowed to tell those outside of his closest family members where he was going.  It's rough trying to keep such a big part of my life secret!  There were many times that I wanted to just vent or ramble on about how I was feeling while he was gone, but really couldn't.  It was difficult and sad at times.

We definitely had our share of adventures around here in those 8 weeks, though!  We went to Urgent Care 3 times and the ER once.  Renae decided to stick a corn seed waaaay up her nose, which couldn't be extracted at an Urgent Care, so we were then referred to the ER, where they were able to suction it out, thank goodness!  I had a recurring infection (still dealing with, by the way...grrr), which took me to the Urgent Care twice.  One of those times with all three kids.  Trying to have a coherent conversation with a doctor while one's children are going stir crazy in an examination room is NOT my idea of a good time.  Then, on top of all this, I came home after a particularly heinous morning to find my backdoor unlocked, partially open, and the basement lights on.  Needless to say, the police were called and the house searched.  When the officer asked if anything seemed out of place, I almost laughed in his face and said, "the entire house is out of place!  I have three kids, and my husband is deployed...I'm by myself!"  He was very understanding and pointed out that if anyone had been there, they would have taken our computer and the Wii..the only two things in our home of any value really.  We spent the night at my parents' that night.

There were some definite highlights while Brandon was gone, though.  I had people extend offers of service and friendship in ways that meant so much to me.  Twice I had friends bring over meals for me so that I wouldn't have to worry about making a meal.  One of those friends even dropped  by in the middle of my kids giving me a makeover!  Imagine a mascara goatee...it was priceless...and much appreciated!  I also got invited to dinner at friends' homes twice, one of which generously allowed me to use her shower (this happened the same day as the corn seed/suspected home invasion episodes).  When I arrived at her house, she had thought of everything I might need to take a shower and had set out fancy shampoo/conditioner, body wash, shower lotion, razor, shave gel, after shower moisturizer, face moisturizer, q-tips, deodorant, toothbrush/toothpaste, and even a mint!  It was so sweet!  A girl in my ward (one I'd not been able to get to know very well since she move in) started a small music class and invited my kids to join in, and we've loved going...and I have loved making some wonderful friends in the process!  One of my oldest (in years we've known each other, not in age...he he) friends was also wonderful and just asked which day would work out best for me for her to be able to come over and watch my kids so that I could just get out.  It was so nice!  I later was able to go over to her house and visit with her and one of our other friends, who was in town for the weekend.  The ward also had a temple trip where they provided childcare in order to encourage the parents of young children to go to the temple without worrying about trying to get a babysitter.  It worked out so well, and it was a great experience going to the temple with so many ward friends.

I also came to love so many of my neighbors during this time.  There's a man who lives diagonally across the street from me.  I don't even know his name for sure (I think it's Dave?), but he mowed my lawn twice and carried my garbage cans back from the curb every single week.  I caught him doing it once, but he didn't want any recognition.  He just said, "no problem...you've already got your hands full."  He still carries my garbage cans back, even though Brandon's home.  He's retired and flies a USMC flag on the front of his house.  I'm pretty sure he saw Brandon leaving on deployment day, wearing his uniform.  My next door neighbor, Mary Ann, has been tremendous.  My kids call her "Grandma," and it's a well-deserved title.  Her grandson is the same age as Nicholas, and my kids spend numerous hours at her home playing with him, leaving me with some much needed alone time.  I've come to really treasure the friendship I have with her and look forward to the long conversations over the fence or in one of our living rooms.  She truly saved my sanity during those eight weeks!

My family was amazing, too!  I had Brandon give me a blessing before he left, but it didn't occur to me to have him give a blessing to the kids, too.  So, my dad willingly stepped in and gave Nicholas and Renae blessings, which was a wonderful experience.  My sister-in-law, Sarah, invited me to several of her ward's play groups and then to her home for lunch/play time with cousins afterwards.  I loved every minute of it!  Brandon's sister Marissa came and stayed with me for about 5 days and was a complete angel!  It was nice just being able to pick up and go to the store or library without having to pack up three kids and cart them with me.  Sometimes by the time I get them all buckled up, I'm done with even wanting to go out, so having Marissa here was fantastic!  Brandon's mom also came down one day and the two of us went out for a manicure/pedicure (she got a manicure, I got the pedicure), which was so great!  And my mom and dad blew me away with their concern and generosity!  They never turned me away when I asked if I could just spend the night there.  I went to church with them a few times so that I could have some help with the kids.  They watched the kids while I went for a haircut, and my dad even waited (very anxiously) at the door for me to return from trying to get my hair cut because of a tornado warning in the area!  My mom drove with my kids and I up to Columbus so that I could do a temple session.  She also took the kids, Marissa, and me to the zoo for the day, and we had so much fun!  We also enjoyed a picnic at the park with my mom.  I enjoyed just sitting there with her chatting away while the kids played on the playground.  Then my mom came and watched the kids so that I could go grocery shopping, and then she helped me clean my house!  Little did I know that at that moment, she had conspired with Brandon to surprise me with his early arrival home, and she knew that I'd want the house clean for him.  Family...I love you!

These eight weeks also helped me to realize that I'm stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.  "I can do hard things" became my mantra.  I developed a stronger relationship with Renae than I ever expected because  we used to butt heads A LOT.  I made three goals before Brandon left: to landscape our front yard, to potty train Renae, and to get Seth to sleep through the night...and I accomplished 2/3 of them!  That's okay, though...I still enjoy my nighttime cuddles with Seth for the most part!  Our vegetable garden was planted, and the kids and I enjoyed watching everything grow.  Renae even learned to identify most of the vegetables in our garden!  I saw Nicholas really desire to step up as "Man of the House" and try to make me smile when I was feeling down. Seth cut 8 teeth, but only kept 2 of them, while the rest slid back up into the gums.  He also rolled over for the first time on Mother's Day, which couldn't have been a sweeter gift to me that day.  My goal most days was to wear my kids out with doing so many things so that they would just collapse into bed at night exhausted.  It worked most days, as we spent long hours at parks and the library.  I loved the time I spent with my kids!

Finally, Brandon never failed to let me know how much he loved me, missed me, and appreciated my willingness to support him and our family.  He arranged several surprises for me while he was gone.  The biggest of which was coordinating with my mom to have me at their home at a certain time so that he could walk in the door two days earlier than I had expected him!  I enjoyed our phone conversations and webcam conversations while he was gone.  I definitely knew that our family was always on his mind, and I loved how much thought he put into the gifts he bought for us.  And I loved hearing about his adventures in Spain...a place I've always wanted to go!

Those eight weeks were full of ups and downs, but I will always remember way more of the ups.  Those two months were a great preparation for the new job Brandon was offered the day after he returned home.  His new job involves a lot of travel.  Before, I was hesitant about him taking this position because we've known about the job offer for several months now.  I didn't think I'd do well with Brandon being gone so much.  I hated the idea that he wouldn't be around for some of our kids' biggest milestones.  I know that Heavenly Father knew that I needed to gain some confidence in myself and in our family's ability to make this sacrifice so that I wouldn't be resentful of the time Brandon will be away from us.  I am constantly amazed at how Heavenly Father knows what we need so much better than we think we do.  I can already see so many blessings coming as a result of Brandon's new job.  For the last few years that Brandon has been in school, and working up to five jobs at a time to make ends meet, it has felt like we've just been in a never-ending holding pattern.  Now, it feels good to finally be moving forward with our lives!