Where Were You? Remembering 9/11

I know I'm not the only one out there who always starts feeling a little more somber when the calendar starts closing in on September 11th.  I've never really written about my experiences that day, and today seems like the most appropriate time to do so. Ten years after the fact.

On Tuesday, 11 September 2001, I woke up shortly before 7 AM in my apartment in Provo, UT.  I had an 8:00 D&C religion class to attend at BYU.  I turned the radio on to my local country music station and left it playing as I went down the hall to shower.  When I came back to my room, the d.j. on the radio station was talking about how a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers, so I ran into our living room to turn on the tv.  There, on the Today show, I saw the devastating footage of the tower smoking.  I really thought that it had been some tragic accident.  And then, I witnessed live, along with millions of others, the horrific scene of the second plane hitting the second tower.  I was dumbstruck, confused, and I really couldn't grasp what I was seeing.

I called my mom in Ohio and said something to the effect of, "can you believe what we're seeing on tv?"  She replied that she was watching a crafting show, so I told her to turn it over to the Today show.  All I heard her say was, "oh, my gosh."  And then silence.  I think we just sat in silence on the phone together for a few minutes.  My dad was supposed to be flying home from Ireland that day, and we knew he wouldn't have been on one of those planes, but in my mind, he could have been, and that rattled me a bit. My mom got off the phone a few minutes later to make some other phone calls, try and get in touch with my dad, and just get some more information.  I quickly got my school things together and headed to campus.  It just seemed like the best thing to do.

My teacher, Brother Latimer, had turned on the overhead projector, tuned to CNN or some other news station.  All of us watched the coverage in silence.  Then, just as class was starting, one of the towers collapsed.  None of us had ever seen anything like it before, and there were audible sobs in the classroom.  I don't think we did much, if anything, in class that day, other than watch the news coverage.  The second tower collapsed, and class was over.

Like many other students, I set myself to autopilot and headed up to the Marriott Center for Devotional.  There were more students present for Devotional that day than usual.  So many of us just felt helpless and numb, and we were looking to President Bateman to help us make sense of what we saw.  While I was waiting for the Devotional to start, my brother Jason, who was volunteering with the emergency services for the devotional, sought me out to check on me.  Even though I've never told him this, I've always been grateful that he thought to ask me if I was okay that day.  The truth was that I wasn't.  But I was grateful that my big brother was there.  President Bateman cancelled Devotional and made classes optional that day, telling us that if we needed to go and make phone calls to check up on people, to go ahead and do so.  I went home.  Most of campus either went home or sat in front of the numerous tvs on campus.

I had never heard of bin Laden before that day.  I never thought that tv stations like TLC or Comedy Central would suspend their programming indefinitely in order to broadcast the nonstop coverage in the coming days, weeks.  When I learned of the attacks in Pennsylvania and the Pentagon, I was scared because I have family in those areas, and I didn't know what else might be coming.  My dad sent an email to all of us kids telling us that he was okay and that he appreciated that we had all checked in on our mom to make sure she was okay.  He didn't return for at least a week and had to miss my sister's patriarchal blessing.  I had a hard time sleeping that night because I couldn't get the images of the day out of my mind.

I'm one of those individuals who very easily feels another's pains, sorrows, emotions, etc.  As the nation sorrowed, I did, too.  I'm not sure anyone around me ever realized just how much that day affected me, and still does.  It was just so senseless.  The cozy little world I'd been enjoying forever changed that day.  Brandon is flying to London as I write this, and I'm not too crazy about that fact.  And tomorrow he'll be touring London via their subway, which makes me nervous, too.  My brother-in-law leaves this week for some training in preparation for a tour in Afghanistan coming up all too soon.  I don't like living my life with the worst case scenario in the back of my mind, but it's always there now.  I didn't know anyone who lost his or her life that day, but I still remember them.  And with the majority of the world tomorrow, I will honor them.